The Big C
by radiowavesandmicrowaves
Summary: “Edward… when I was fourteen, I got bowel cancer… I took tablets to make it go away, and they worked pretty well, but after you left, I stopped taking them… It’s come back Edward… I’ve got cancer again.” I wept, his mouth fell open and then snapped shut.
1. Chapter 1

**The Big C. – By OliviasFiction-**

Background Information – When Bella was fourteen, she developed Bowel cancer, she got treated for it, but they said it might come back. She was put on a course of tablets to take, but when she fell pregnant, she stopped taking them. Now the cancer has come back and it is more vicious than ever, feeding off Bella like her baby is. As the cancer starts to spread, time is running out for poor Bella, and her little bump too, and everyone is feeling her pain. Edward is deeply depressed, Carlisle is working his ass off, Rose is looking after Bella, Alice is away – taking a bit of a breather, not when she runs off with jasper -, Jasper is trying to keep spirits high, and Emmett, well… he's being his usual self. There's only one thing to do, but can they really change the human Bella they all loved so much into a monster like themselves? Will Edward kill the bump for Bella's sake? Or will it come to the worst? Keep reading to find out what happens in OliviasFiction-'s - The Big C.

**Disclaimer- I don't own twilight or cancer, they belong to their rightful and unlucky owners :( **Sigh****

**Chapter one**

**The truth hurts**

"Time to check the bump!" Rosalie chanted, a smile plastered across her face, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought that she was some circus clown. She squeezed my hand and put her arm over my shoulder.

"Yey." I mumbled sarcastically, I was so annoyed with everyone's attention, it was just a freaking baby, I didn't need baby sitting! The worst thing about being pregnant with little EJ was that I had to have a scan every two days, to check that it was developing correctly and it wasn't sitting on any of my vital organs or trying to hurt me. He'd already broken some of my ribs.

Rosalie walked me down the hallway to Carlisle's office, where we would have the ultra sound. The bed was there, the only thing missing was the machine. Rose directed me to a chair and sat me down, making sure that I wasn't in any pain. She had become so kind to me since I told her I was pregnant with little EJ.

Carlisle entered the room with the ultra sound machine, wheeling it on one of Emmett's skate boards. Rose laughed half-heartedly and then helped Carlisle set up the machine.

It beeped a few times and then kicked into life, it was so noisy! Rose put her cool hands over my ears to help relax me and then moved one to my hot forehead. Esme then flitted in, followed by a rather depressed looking Edward, who was shuffling his feet. He looked up to me and smiled gently, even though I knew he didn't mean it as much as I hoped he did.

He walked over to my right side and started to fidget, he wasn't comfortable. He hasn't been since I decided to keep EJ. I sighed and lifted up my jumper for Carlisle to put the weird jelly stuff on my stomach, for the ultra sound.

"Everything looks okay, Bella. The baby looks fine, but I'm not sure about you." Carlisle said, after my rather boring, yet kind of exciting ultra sound. He cleaned off the gooey jelly and rolled my jumper back down.

"Do you mind leaving us alone?" Carlisle asked, but by the time the words had came out of his mouth, Edward was already out of the room, closely followed by Esme and then Rose. Carlisle turned to me.

"Have you been feeling okay?" He asked, well I was pregnant, so I was bound to feel a little crappy, but apart from that, yeah, I was pretty good.

"I guess, I mean, being pregnant is no picnic, especially with a baby that won't let me eat human food." I replied, EJ was being a right pain, I couldn't even have soup.

"Hmm, how about your bowl movements? How have they been?" He asked, well I guess this was an alright question to ask, not too weird. Hmm, let me think…

"Yeah, I've been passing waste frequently." I said. It was true; I had to pee all the time, maybe which was a normal thing about pregnancy?

"Hmm, I think I need to have a little look inside you."

**----| About an hour later |----**

The thoughts rushing through my head were so erratic, even if Edward could hear them, he wouldn't be able to understand. How was I going to be able to tell him this? It would tear him apart, not to mention what it's doing to me.

I walked into Edward's bedroom and sat down on his bed next to his legs where he was lying down. His body was tight and his eyes were closed. He wasn't even breathing. All you could hear was grunts from EJ and my breathing. Edward knew I was there, but he chose to ignore me.

"Edward" I breathed, his eyes opened wide and starred right at me.

"Bella" He replied, his voice was velvety and smooth as always, but he had a slight twinge of pain in it as well. I sighed as he managed to stand up on the bed and hop down from it, landing a few feet away from me. I shivered, he sighed.

"I think you better sit down." I croaked, my voice cracking at every word. He still stood there, I looked at him with hurt eyes and then he sat down next to me on the bed.

"What's the matter Bella? Why did Carlisle want to talk to you?" Edward asked, looking more concerned for me now, seen as though I looked hurt and sad.

"Edward… when I was fourteen, I got bowl cancer… I took tablets to make it go away, and they worked pretty well, but after you left, I stopped taking them… It's come back Edward… I've got cancer again." I wept, his mouth dropped and then quickly snapped shut again, his eyes closed and he hugged me tight. He hadn't done that for a while.

He kissed my lips and hugged me tight again, holding me for what seemed like forever, which I always wanted. His lips brushed mine again.

"Bella, my sweet Bella. How come you never told me?" Edward asked, his voice was still smooth put again, a twinge of pain echoed through it like an empty cave.

"Because I didn't want you to worry."

"Don't worry, it'll all be okay." He said with a fearful voice, his poker face was failing and his world looked like it had been torn apart, and that was just from the outside. I took one big shivering breath and then rested my head on Edward's hard shoulder. He raised his hand and then placed it on EJ's bump.

"Don't worry either of you, it'll all be okay."

**-End of Chapter-**

**Hey everyone, do you like? It's quite powerful and emotional for me to write this, especially today. It is the anniversary of my grand father's death today marking four years since his passing. We also lost him to cancer. R&R would be appreciated. Thanks x**

**--Olivia x**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Big C. – By OliviasFiction-**

Background Information – When Bella was fourteen, she developed Bowel cancer, she got treated for it, but they said it might come back. She was put on a course of tablets to take, but when she fell pregnant, she stopped taking them. Now the cancer has come back and it is more vicious than ever, feeding off Bella like her baby is. As the cancer starts to spread, time is running out for poor Bella, and her little bump too, and everyone is feeling her pain. Edward is deeply depressed, Carlisle is working his ass off, Rose is looking after Bella, Alice is away – taking a bit of a breather, not when she runs off with jasper -, Jasper is trying to keep spirits high, and Emmett, well… he's being his usual self. There's only one thing to do, but can they really change the human Bella they all loved so much into a monster like themselves? Will Edward kill the bump for Bella's sake? Or will it come to the worst? Keep reading to find out what happens in OliviasFiction-'s - The Big C.

Disclaimer- I don't own twilight or cancer, they belong to their rightful owners :( **Sigh**

**Chapter two**

**The lies worse**

We just sat there for hours, holding each other together, like glue to paper. He was still patting our little EJ, who now began kicking fiercely at the walls of my uterus, maybe he will be a good sports man, well obviously, he was a vampire.

Edward's lips kept gently brushing against mine as we sat there, in utter silence, just my breathing and my heart beat, two rather weak noises. He kissed my forehead more often now, it helped the tears subside, I had cried enough today.

Edward was running his hand through my hair, like he was combing it, straightening everything out and making it better, like a magnificent medicine, which I knew never, ever, would be real.

The worst fear gripping me was that it might affect EJ, taking away his food supply and nutrition and mine obviously too. I was already so badly ill with not being able to eat anything and I was pretty sure I was lacking in every vital vitamin, which wasn't helping at all in any way, shape or form.

One thing kept my mind off EJ and The Big C.

Edward.

My morning prince would not survive. He was so distraught when he found out what EJ might do to me, so I don't know what's going to happen if he knows exactly what this thing is going to do to me. He obviously knew what it would do to me. Kill me.

The only hard thing would be to break it to the rest of the Cullen's.

Of course Carlisle already knew, but he wanted me to tell them in my own time, so that I was ready, and obviously, it wouldn't upset Edward as much. He would die; he nearly killed himself when he thought I was dead the first time, what if I'm really dead this time? The truth would hurt him so much, and those lies from Rose were worse. He would just… die again.

He helped me up and walked me to the bathroom, holding my hand tight and my waist firmly, he didn't want me to fall, although something allot worse than falling was happening to me.

**----| A little while later |----**

"Are you ready, love?" Edward asked, his voice dry and cracking. His heart was in the right place; at least he hadn't given up all hope like I had. He looked dreadful, so cold, so desolate, so distant, and so dead inside. He hugged me tight and then plucked up and forced out a smile.

"They will all be so upset." He breathed and wept. They couldn't lose a sister that they had just gained. I had to fight. I had to, for their benefits. And EJ's.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and helped me down the stairs carefully, making sure I didn't fall and end my life even sooner. I breathed slowly, concentrating on what I was going to tell them all.

"Edward." I croaked, my throat was sore and dry from all my sobbing. He looked down to me and didn't answer until we where off the stair case.

"Yes Bella?" He asked, his voice almost sounded as bad as mine, just slightly velvety and smooth.

"Can you get me something to drink?" I asked, he plucked up another half smile and forced it into place.

"Sure love, anything you want."

"Thank you."

I walked into the main living room and everyone smiled, not knowing what was going on. Carlisle was nodding, holding Esme by the shoulders. I guess she already knew, she was just trying not to break down in front of all her unknowing children.

'_Your doing the right thing, Bella_.' Carlisle mouthed.

Alice. I wondered if Alice knew. I wondered if she had seen it coming, why she didn't tell me. Or that Edward hadn't heard her. She probably didn't want to upset Edward anymore than he already was.

And what about Emmett, Rose and Jasper? What about them? How would they feel? Sure Jasper would read my feelings and see that I wasn't feeling too great now, that I wasn't well at all. Jasper would have figured something out by now.

"Hey Bella" Alice said, messing around with one of Esme's flower arrangements, and adding a few pink and white lilies. White lilies, funeral lilies. _How depressing at this time_. I sighed and then plucked up the courage to reply.

"Hey Alice" I said bleakly, she gave me a funny look and then flitted over.

"What's up Bella? What's the matter?" Alice asked, full of concern and curiosity.

_Well, I'm dying and there's not much I can do about it, you?_ I thought to myself, it would have been the easiest way.

"I need to talk to everyone." I stated, looking around the room for an approving nod from Carlisle and Esme. They did. That gave me a little faith.

"Okay, what's up then, Bella?" Jasper asked, his eyes wide. The last time I said that phrase to this family was when I was asking for their vote on me becoming one of them. I looked back to then; I should have started taking my tablets again. _Stupid dumb Bella._

I breathed heavily and saw Rose get to her feet off the sofa.

"Bella, sit down, it's not healthy for you to be standing up, you'll hurt yourself." Rose advised, ushering me to where she had been sprawled across the sofa. She sat me down and then sat in front of me on the floor.

_And it's not healthy to have cancer either._

"There's something I need to say to you all" I paused; I wanted to get it over and done with. _Breathe Bella, breathe,_ I thought to myself, trying to calm my nerves. Jasper smiled as he gave me a boost of confidence. "I have cancer."

The whole room's mouths gawped open and shut again quickly, all but Carlisle's and Esme's, they already knew.

Rose got up and hugged me close, to tight if I might just say so. Little EJ kicked and she smiled at me.

"Oh Bella, stop making crap up, it's not going to work, we're keeping you prisoner here whether you like it or not." Emmett said before Rose, Jasper or Alice could get a word in. They all immediately turned to Emmett and gave him a disapproving look, followed by a dirty look, followed by a rolling of the eyes. Emmett's mind clicked and then he realised I wasn't lying. He started to sob.

"My best friend, I did not see this coming, if I did, I would have told you and you might not be in this situation. I am so sorry." Alice sobbed, hugging me tighter than Rose did, but I didn't mind, she was my best friend and she was allowed, plus she couldn't help it. Alice and I held that hug for a few minutes, and all we could hear was sobbing vampires, tearless, sobbing vampires. I smiled, at least they cared.

"Bella, my poor sister, we are all here for you, we will do what ever it takes to keep you alive." Jasper confidently said, he wasn't sobbing like the rest of them, he was trying to control their emotions, and obviously it wasn't working for once.

"BELLA!! BELLA, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME, I FINALLY GET ONE COOL SISTER AND NOW SHE'S GUNNA DIE, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE BELLA, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE ON ME!" Emmett shouted at the top of his lungs, bellowing so loud that I wouldn't be surprised that the rest of Fork's could hear him too. He grabbed me under the armpits and picked me up. He held me closed, crushing my whole body, including little EJ.

"EMMETT, PUT HER THE FUCK DOWN!" Rose snapped, worried about EJ and me. She slapped him around the back of the head and then told him to sit down.

"Ow. You all got to hug her, why not me? It's not fair Daddy, tell them off, it's not fair!" He moaned, pouting and folding his arms together, looking like a toddler that wasn't getting what he wanted. That's what I loved about Emmett, his childish nature.

"Emmett, be quiet, it's not the time to be acting like a baby." Carlisle replied, Rose rolled her eyes again and then sat me back down on the couch. I nodded and smiled, she ignored it and turned back to Emmett.

"Because you'll fucking kill her, Emmett, you'll fucking crush her to death." Rose shouted again, this time a little bit quieter. I was surprised that Charlie hadn't come knocking on the door, seeing what all the noise was about. But oh yeah, he _thought_ we where in Alaska or something.

I rubbed little EJ's head and then looked for Edward, where was he? He couldn't resolve this matter with running away, believe me.

"Alice, where's Edward?" I asked, my voice still dry and cracking. Alice smiled weakly and got up, running around the house looking for her brother and my husband. She was back within 30 seconds.

"He's not here, Bella." Alice replied, she saw me sink at that moment.

So my husband couldn't cope with this? He has been around for over a hundred years and he can't cope with a little bit of cancer and a vampire baby?

Why does he always have to run away? It doesn't resolve _anything. _Ever.

**-|End of chapter|-**

**Inspiration ran through my veins and I had to write more, this story is going out to you Granddad, it's all for you. R&R and I'll cheer up, thanks x**

**--Olivia x**


	3. Chapter 3

The Big C. – By OliviasFiction-

Background Information – When Bella was fourteen, she developed Bowel cancer, she got treated for it, but they said it might come back. She was put on a course of tablets to take, but when she fell pregnant, she stopped taking them. Now the cancer has come back and it is more vicious than ever, feeding off Bella like her baby is. As the cancer starts to spread, time is running out for poor Bella, and her little bump too, and everyone is feeling her pain. Edward is deeply depressed, Carlisle is working his ass off, Rose is looking after Bella, Alice is away – taking a bit of a breather, not when she runs off with jasper -, Jasper is trying to keep spirits high, and Emmett, well… he's being his usual self. There's only one thing to do, but can they really change the human Bella they all loved so much into a monster like themselves? Will Edward kill the bump for Bella's sake? Or will it come to the worst? Keep reading to find out what happens in OliviasFiction-'s - The Big C.

Disclaimer- I don't own twilight or cancer, they belong to their rightful owners :( **Sigh**

**Chapter three**

**More than words**

I'd been feeling pretty crappy for the last few hours, Edward had ran off again to try and 'fix things', Esme had been sobbing into Carlisle for hours, Alice was debating and reassuring Jasper that he would not kill me and Rose was nursing Emmett's sobs with shouting and kicking him. I plunged my head into my hands and sighed heavily, shaking my head as I brought it back up again to the disaster of a family.

I felt like a mother in some ways, even though I wasn't one just yet, like looking at all my children, all noisy and in a mess, like a mother who had too much to cope with, like a mother who had been knocked up too early. Well in my opinion I already had, and I did what I didn't want to do before I met Edward, get married straight out of high school and have a baby. Yippie, all my worst fears coming true, as well as my cancer coming back, of course.

Carlisle had told me that it was too far on to operate, and that if he did, there was a chance, a rather high chance that EJ would die in the process. Again, yippie.

The house phone started to ring, and I practically jumped out of my skin, this new foreign sound. No body ever rang the Cullen's house phone, and before now, I was pretty sure they didn't have one. Carlisle grabbed the posh looking phone and rubbed his eyes, yawning like it had woken him up, keeping the façade going. The whole room went silent as Carlisle took the call.

"Hello, Cullen residence, how may I help?" Carlisle asked into the phone, polite as always.

"Yes, is Miss Swan there?" The other voice asked, an irritating overly-American accent coming out through and through. I steadied myself to get up, but Rosalie steadied me back down, even her slight touch hurt my broken ribs.

"No, but can I take a message? Carlisle asked, nobody was answering in sentences, just questions, which was irritating me more than the voice on loud speaker now.

"Please inform her that she hasn't been to pick up her prescription of Ikohl from the pharmacy. She shouldn't stop taking it at all, even for a week. She hasn't picked her prescription up 3 months; we are very worried about her health." The voice did sound kinda worried, which worried me even more. I knew I should have remembered to take them, but with the wedding and the baby, everything was forgotten. I didn't even have any acknowledgeable symptoms of it, because the pregnancy symptoms were much, much worse and much, much obvious than the cancer ones.

"Can I ask you a hypothetical question?" Carlisle asked to the what I think was a girl.

"Sure, what ever."

"Hypothetically, can you still take the Ikohl if you are pregnant?"

"Let me just check… nope, it would kill the baby, why is Miss Swan pregnant?" The girl asked, her voice was going through me.

"I said hypothetically. And if she was, would there be a drug that would work whilst she was pregnant?"

"Let me just check…" She trailed off; all we could hear was faint typing from a computer key board and mouse clicking. She ummed and arred for a while before getting back to Carlisle.

"How far along is she, hypothetically?"

"About seven months"

"No, it's too late, it would kill the baby."

"Okay then, thank you." Carlisle said, trying to keep his poker face on and his emotion rational. He breathed to steady himself before putting the phone down.

"We have to research this Ikohl, Bella how come you never said about the medication before?" Carlisle said, on the verge of going into a sobbing breakdown like Esme. Why hadn't I said anything about my medication to Carlisle, he was the one who needed to know. I had boxes of it back at Charlie's hidden under my bed, he never knew I got cancer at all, Renee didn't want to see him distraught and if I died… then we wouldn't know what he would do next. At least now I always have an option out of it, but Edward would never give into that.

"I… I… Don't know… It must have slipped my mind." I croaked, I could feel the tears coming on, and my face turning a light pink. Rose stopped kicking Emmett and came over to sit by me, rubbing my hot shoulders with her cold hands.

Carlisle breathed deeply through his nose and then marched upstairs to his office, with Esme on hot pursuit.

I closed my eyes and started to think of my loved ones. Charlie, what would he do without me? He's a hopeless cook and he might go into depression. Renee, my mother, the scatter brain, she always has a good gossip with me, but who will she turn to, Phil? My friends at school, Angela, Jessica, Taylor, Mike – I wouldn't miss him -, everyone. The La Push crew, Sam, Seth, Leah – not so much Leah -, Paul, Jared, Quill, Embry, and Jacob… Jacob. Jacob, my best friend, he was my sunshine in my darkest hours, he kept me warm, and safe. He loved me soo much, maybe not now, but still love is there. He ran away, he just went wolf, he went AWOL, and his Dad is so worried, even Charlie, he's only young, but he seems so grown up, I worry about him constantly. Jacob. Jacob…

And the Cullen's, all of them, every last one, Emmett, the bear, the big teddy bear, the big brother. Jasper, the constantly tempted one, but he's held his urges, his craving for blood. Rose, the fire of the family so flamey yet so loving. Alice, the pixie, the sister, the little sister who doesn't annoy you, my best gal pal as you may say. Esme, the heart of the family. My second mother, my mom away from mom. Carlisle, the brains and the father, keeping the family together like the head strong leader that he is. They all accepted me, well most of them at first, but now, they all accept me.

And Edward. No ways could describe how much I love him, no matter how much affection and words could show it, nothing can describe it. My morning price, my love of life, my life line.

And EJ, how could I forget EJ? I don't know him, and yet I love him so much, I'm scared of him, yet I have complete faith in him. He's not his own person yet, but believe me, he will be and I'll love him even more for that.

I needed to see Charlie and Renee, I needed to see Jacob and the rest of the Quilluetes, and I needed to see Edward.

But he'd ran off again, leaving me. Alone in way, my life line left me and now I'm holding on by threads to my life. It's only a matter of time, it's only a matter of time before they snap and I fall, I go, I fade away.

That's the thing that scared me about death, leaving my loved ones behind, leaving everyone who I'd made an impression on, everyone who ever loved me, and eventually, everyone would forget, even Edward, one day he will forget me, like I was just an old, fuzzy human memory, or even a dream. He will forget, and I hope he does, I hope he get's to move on.

I just need to hang on until EJ's due date arrives, then at least I'll give him a life that he deserves.

I will never forgive myself if EJ had to die instead of me, never forgive myself that I took away an innocent child's life because I wanted to keep my own. Never forgive myself because I would be selfish, mean, cruel and evil.

A cool shiver sped down my body and I knew it was time for the space heater. Rose must have seen me shiver because she quickly moved away and brought a blanket and switched the space heater on.

I didn't want to open my eyes. Not seeing him there would be the icing on the cake, the cake of pain, the cake of sorrow, the cake of losing someone you love.

I wouldn't like to eat those cakes.

-End of chapter-

Hehe, I like this one, a lot of emotion, which I love writing. I usually like to write comedy or humor, but today, I don't know why, a feeling of lost crept over me so it made me want to write about how Bella was feeling and how she would be feeling. EJ! Woop go EJ! Wouldn't it be fun if Renesmee turned out to be a boy? Well maybe I could write that? Remember to check out my other stories :)

Reviews would be better than Edward coming back!

--Olivia x -*Cookies F or Readers!*-


	4. Chapter 4

No more annoying info, if you want it there, please PM me telling me so. This is my most popular story so far, well except for 'let's bowl' but that's a one shot, and no one really cares so I'll just stop drabbling on about nothingness. Internet was down today so I made it a writing day, which I'm very bored with because I'd rather be on Face book or reading some more fanfics. Oh well, never mind. I still have my Ds + Wii to mess with so I guess I can occupy my time with that as well.

Listening to Greenday all day so this is kind of Greenday inspired, if that is possible…

Chapter 4 – Here we go!!

**Chapter 4**

**Wake me up when August ends**

August was pretty grim, Edward had been missing for a few days now, and EJ was expected anytime, I just wished and hoped he would return for mine health more than anything, I was wilting away, dropping and fading, losing colour and perk, everything that attracted him to me.

I had several chats with Alice to see if she could see anything that would help, but all was non existent, nothing was coming through, because his future involved EJ.

I really wanted to have him home, I was feeling more depressed with every quick day that was passing by, okay, I was asleep for most of it, but apart from that, I was desolate and lonely with only the company of my vampy in-laws. I longed for someone normal or someone who felt as normal to me as Edward.

Alice fetched me her iPod for company, but it was just filled with pop and RnB songs which I detested with a strong passion. For some reason, I felt like listening to Greenday, their songs were reflecting my mood, which would probably help in the situation. Alice immediately fetched Edward's iPod and replaced hers with his. He'd been listening to Nickelback the last he listened to it, he was listening to Photograph. That song was alright, but the lyrics really hit hard to me.

'Hard to say it; darn just say it, goodbye…'

'I miss that town, I miss those faces…'

I scrolled through all his music, most of it was rock, classical or alternative genres.

Bowling for soup, never heard of them. I looked at the album, and then at the list of songs. There was only one, so I decided to listen to it.

'Girl all the bad guys want…'

'Its like a bad movie, she's looking through me, if you were me you'd be screaming somebody shoot me, as I fail miserably, trying to get the girl all the bad guys want…'

It was mostly about getting laid with some punk girl, but it had some important lyrics. Bowling for soup, eh? Definitely on my to-buy list on iTunes, if I'd live through this anyways. I tried to concentrate on some happier songs, which I couldn't find.

He had so many songs; I lost count when it went into the D section. I listened to his music for hours on end, it gave me a sense of him being there, and by the way EJ had calmed down in the last 4 hours, he liked Edwards taste too. Esme entered the room with some human food on a try and a Sippy cup of blood again. I grabbed a banana and took a chunk out of it and kept the music going.

Surprisingly, some Amy Winehouse came on, I knew she was a British female soul singer, but I only ever heard 'Rehab', which was probably in my opinion, was her worst song. A rather up lifting song came on 'Tears dry on their own'.

'He walks away, the sun goes down, he takes the day, but I am gone, but in your way, the deep shade, my tears dry on their own…'

I picked up the cup and started sipping slowly, so that EJ wouldn't want loads all day, and also that it would slowly release into my body, giving me energy slowly.

More music came on, now it was actually Greenday, and the song 'Wake me up when September ends' came on. I had an ultimatum to that, wake me up when August ends. The song would seem depressing to any other member of this household, but in my eyes, it was up lifting me in a slightly strange way.

Rosalie was watching the music channels, flicking through them quickly, not even listening to the music. She was laying on the arm chair nearest to me with her legs flung over the arm rest and her head tilted back, not watching the screen of the TV.

MTV1, MTV2, 4 MUSIC, TMF, VHF, VHF CLASSICS, MTV BASE, KERRANG, the list went on.

She wasn't looking at any other channels, just the music channels. Huh, that's weird, I thought to myself.

Within a sudden rush she got up from her seat and ran out of the room at breakneck pace. I wonder what had happened, maybe she had heard someone human coming, or maybe even Jacob…

Oh how I wished to see Jacob, to snuggle up to his warm body even when I was warm and just talk to him like old friends do. He would be furious to know that I was pregnant with a mini vampire, and even more so if he knew what EJ could do to me.

Edward. What if it was him? I wouldn't be pissed with him, just rejubilant that he returned at the very least. I would hug him and tell him I wanted him to stay and never do anything like that to me again, and then kiss him. He wouldn't respond though, he was being hard on himself, being with his own thoughts most of the time. I wonder if he thought that I would be pissed with him, and that's why he was hiding away from me and the ugly truth. The whole cancer thing was big enough without a baby too, and maybe he had gone to the extremes, maybe he had gone to the Volturi for some bizarre reason, maybe, just maybe he'd already done the deed himself, even though it would be the upmost worst he could to.

At first I really wanted to be a vampire, but now, I think I'll feel a sense of loss, I don't want to not be able to see Charlie anymore, or Renee, I want to see Jessica, Angela and Ben all one more time, and say goodbye for real. I want to tell Tyler to leave me alone, and tell Mike to go with Jessica because she really loves him, and to stop hounding over something he'll never get. I want to tell Jacob I love him, but not in the way he wants me to, I want to say my final goodbyes before I get bitten. I want to do all the silly human things that may seem scary to us and do them, with Edward of course.

But I cant, I'm pregnant, sick and my Husband has run away from me. What a great freaking month August has been. EJ is expected to be born in 6 days at the most, and I don't want to do it alone, with out Jacob or Edward.

Then Rosalie came back through the door with one of the people I had wanted to see for a while now, hopefully they wouldn't run away from me again.

-End of chapter-

Jacob or Edward, who do you think will come bouncing through the doors of the Cullen Mansion? Remember, some of this is a little off the character's exact selves, but who cares? I'm not SM, I don't have to be perfect, I'm only 13! Rolf ;P Darn, I'm back at school tomorrow, better go to bed.

Reviews will be adored and loved more then Renesmee will be.

Olivia x


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, my word expires in a few days so I better get typing up my next chapter, this one evidently. I'm into a phase of listening to The Beatles, Ash and Muse all the time now, so my chapter names may be strange and rather random but just ignore their strangeness because I ignore myself. Look I'm confusing people now so I'll quit jabbering on about myself and start chatting about this story.**

**Hot, buttery scones will be awarded for reviewers (I KNOW IT SOUNDS WRONG!!)**

**By the way, the chapter title is part of a song by Ash called Candy which has the lyrics 'Don't you know it's alright to be alone?' But I changed it because I preferred it, and it fitted. AND if you haven't noticed, all the chapter titles are parts or lyrics of songs which are either adapted or they are not**.

**Chapter 5**

**Don't you know it'****s NOT alright to be alone?**

I sat there, just staring at this face that I had missed for so long. It was my fault that he ran off on his own, it was my fault that everyone was worried sick, it was my fault that Jacob Black, my nearest and dearest friend went AWOL. I felt sick with myself. I hadn't thought about Jacob for a few days and now he was all I could think about. I could remember him with his long, sleek, black hair, almost longer and better kept than mine. I sighed in relief and then stood up, clutching the sofa arm for support. Jacob ran over and steadied me up before I fell. I sighed and fell into his muscular arms, closing my eyes and thinking of better times when I had been in a stance like this.

My thoughts rolled around my head like a merry-go-round, never ending, just sickening after a while. I grunted and Rosalie came running with another beaker of blood, Jacob scowled and I felt his grasp and walked over to Rosalie, stumbling as I went. And for the first time in years, I didn't feel like I could stand on my own two feet, even being heavily pregnant, I thought I could still be maneuverable and now obviously EJ was getting the better of me.

A cool chill went down my spine as Rosalie's hand embraced mine, touching ever so slightly, usually I'd be fine, maybe it was the Jacob effect...

"Jake, where have you been?" I asked, my voice shaking with nerves, I didn't want to mention anything about EJ which might set him off like a rocket again. He closed his eyes and rubbed his forearms, like he was washing them.

"Damn, don't you need a space heater in here? It's freezing!" He exclaimed, making Rosalie's ears prick up. She gave him a dirty look and then guided me back to the sofa. She looked hastily at the clock, as if she was waiting for something, or someone to leave. Jacob went to sit down next to me, but Alice jumped in the way.

"Hey, pix, do ya mind?" Jacob asked, an eyebrow quirked. Alice simply smiled, yawned and lay back on the large creme sofa.

"Jacob, may we get you a drink or something to eat?" Jasper said, face tight and taut, like Jessica had said, like he was in pain. What I'd give to hear the latest gossip now, although it would probably about me, which sucks.

"Um, a coke please... Jay..." Jacob said loudly, which then turned into a mumble, he'd forgotten Jasper's name. Alice rolled her eyes and quickly whispered in Jacob's ear '_Jasper, he's Jasper dumb ass_'. I giggled, never heard Alice say anything like that before. Maybe she got a little touchy when Jacob was around.

"Alice, would you mind accompanying me?" Jasper asked, holding out his hand which was grasped and out of the room within a flash. She giggled loudly from the kitchen as her and her husband decided to taste coke. Rosalie left the room in a gust, she couldn't stand the smell, even for me, Jacob's wet dog smell was starting to show. EJ kicked and I coiled over in pain.

"Jacob, I have something I want you to do for me." I whimpered, his arm stretched over to keep me warm. I closed my eyes and breathed with utter silence.

"Jacob, can you do one thing for me, please?" He still didn't reply, I sighed, he knew what I was going to ask him anyway. But I thought I'd just go out and say it.

"Find him for me?" I begged, my throat dry and my fingers quaking in my jumper. He closed his eyes and looked deeply within himself, I could tell he'd rather opt out. I was just about to get up, but then my phone buzzed. I looked at the caller ID, it didn't say anything. I answered anyway.

"Hello?" I asked, trying to think who would have a masked number to my phone, or which was maybe privet. Who could afford a privet number in Forks?

"Don't bother, Bella" The velvet voice uttered, licking my ear with its smooth and fragrant words. I smiled to myself. What would I say back?

"Edwar-" My heart was beating at a mile a minute, I was so ecstatic, over the moon, just to hear his voice, no pain or cracking, just his loving smooth velvet. My heart was melting and my inward smile was starting to show outwards in a goofy grin.

"Don't bother getting the dog to try and find me, his primitive nose is worthless." He said, Jacob heard and growled. He snatched the phone away before I could answer him back.

"Don't talk like that, Emo boy, if your not careful, I swear..." Jacob gnarled into the phone, almost drowning it with the spit that came out through the anguish of his words.

The phone clicked, and the dial tone came back like a brick wall, my happiness was drained and my free spirit was returning into the hollow shell of a person. I shivered and Jacobs arm returned in a flash. I burred my head in my hands. I couldn't keep my husband with me for more than a few days before he ran away to get rid of the sight of me. I was so needy and pathetic at this moment, I could do the whole world some good by leaving it's surface.

Alice swooped in.

"Bella, don't you dare start thinking like that, we don't want you to ever ever ever do anything so reckless and stupid, as stupid as the cliff diving last year. Your a smart, beautiful girl, you have a baby on the way and your main idea is to jump off some cliff because Edward needs a breather? Ugh, I'm just so pissed off now." Me and Jacob turned to Alice, shocked.

"What's stuck in her panties?" Jacob asked, laughing. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Alice glared at him and I slapped his cheek playfully.

"In other words Alice, what's up, you seem more... angsty than usual." I touched her ebony shoulder lightly with my bony hand and felt the cool chilling sensation run through my fingertips into the rest of my body. My shoulders shivered, but I liked the reminder of the feeling.

Alice turned to me and started to weep. Her head flopped forwards. I looked under her layers of hair which had fell forwards and found her chin, I tilted it upwards and felt her cool sobbing breaths on my hand. She shivered herself, had she seen something bad?

"Jacob, um, why don't you go ask Jasper to fix you that coke you wanted?" I told him, nudging his leg. He immediately got up and left the room, sprinting up the delicate stairs.

Alice opened her eyes.

**-End of chapter-**

**Huzzah, and after months of writers block, I finally managed to finish this chapter. I bet y'all like, 'you bitch' for leaving you on another cliff hanger, but I don't care, I need a jacket cause I'm freezing.**

**Ciao x**


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry that it's taken about a billion years for me to write this next chapter, and to be honest, I couldn't be bothered, and also, my **p **button will not work. So it's Ctrl + V from now on.  
I suddenly got an urge to write, well, and the fact that my brother is hogging the internet for XBOX live, cause he's a fag. But soon enough, we shall be getting wireless, and I'm getting a laptop,(hopefully)which means alot more writing and allot more posting.  
This chapter's name was taken from 'Thinking of you' by Katy perry, which in it's true form would be 'Cause when I'm with him, I'm thinking of you'. Again, I made a few adaptations.

**Cha****pter 6**

'**Cause when I'm near him, I'm only thinking of you.**

"Bella, Bella, I saw, I saw Jacob attack Edward, and, and Edward did nothing. Jacob killed him, Jacob is going to kill him." I recoiled in horror, my eyes wide and my mouth slightly open. I couldn't imagine Jake ever doing anything that would hurt me, but yes, Alice saw it. I picked up my mobile and looked at my call history. 'Call' one side said and the other said 'Delete'.

I pushed the left button and slid the phone up to my ear. My hands were shaking violently, so much so that I dropped the phone. It slid underneath the chair, and I just didn't have the will or strength to go fetch it. Alice, within a swift movement retreaved it from underneath the chair and placed it on loud speaker on my lap. The owner of the phone picked up and breathed heavily.

"Bella."  
"Come home, please."  
"I can't... I need time to think."  
Alice butted in before I could say anything.  
"Dont you think you've had enough time to think? You've got a hopeless and heavily pregnant wife here, and you are being so selfish to run out on her at her worst time. She needs you, and I'm sick of holding back her hair as she throws up. Be a man, Edward, grow a pair for Gods sake! Even Jacob, who isn't even a complete man has more balls than you, atleast he's here for Bella, unlike you. If I were you, I'd get my skinny little Vampire ass back to Forks right this second or there will be big consequences! You hear me?!" Alice furious, all her anguish poured out into one bitter and distasteful paragraph. Her eye was twitching and her fists were clenched so tightly, her little hands started to change from a chalky white to a gaundish yellow. She stormed out of the room at human pace and slammed the door shut behind her.

"Edward?"  
"Yes?"  
"I love you."

There was a long pause before he spoke again, I thought he had hung up.

"I love you too." The voice was tearful and cracked, full of pain and hurt. I smiled at the phone, happy to know my Husband still loved me, my Edward still loved me. I was crying now too, but not of pain, of utter euphoria, of radiant joy, that my one and only love was still only mine.

"Come home soon, okay?" I croaked, laughing for no reason. I could feel his warmth around me, again. I could hear him laughing and crying too, although his were tearless sobs.  
"It is impropper for a man to cry, but technically, I'm not a man yet, so I think I'll cry and laugh. I'm coming, I love you more than anything, more than my piano, more than my Brothers and Sisters, more than my car, more than anything in the whole world, the whole universe even. Go-"

"Don't you ever say good-bye to me, 'cause that means you will not be seeing me for sometime. Do it like the Scousers, say 'In-a-bit'."

"In-a-bit." He chuckled and the phone clicked. EJ kicked me furiously, maybe he felt protective over me, well, he was part of his father and he had part of Jacobs name. I placed the phone on the cushion next to me and grabbed another. I hugged it with intentive joy and compassion. At that second, Rosalie rushed in and stood infront of me with a pout and puzzled look upon her face. I let out a happy sigh of relief and closed my eyes. Rosalie walked out again.

I liked having time with my thoughts again, as they were only filled with happiness and Edward. All I ever wanted was him back by my side, I would rather loose EJ, loose everything, than not have him in my life. EJ kicked hard. I guess thinking that upset him. Maybe he would be a mind reader like Edward. Or would he have a completely different talent? It would be interesting to find out.

Alice walked in with a radiant grin on her face.

"Jacob will see Edward making you happy and will not kill him, he will take out his fustration at the fact you chose Edward instead of him on a tree or two, or seven, but then he will except it and be happy for you. I still see nothing in your future, it's all fuzzy, like a unresponsive TV channel. It actually makes the same noise, although I do hear somethings, your voice sometimes, and Edwards too. Before that phone call, your future was black, absolutley blank..."

Emmett bounded in with Rosalie on his arm, smiling too.

"Alice told us the good news, although, we did have our ears to the wall trying to hear what you were saying and vice-versa. So now it's okay to have public displays of affection, because you won't go all mad-crazy-suicidy on us." Rosalie slammed her elbow into Emmett's side and stood on his foot with the heal of her stiletto heel. He still stood there, smile broadening on his face as he laughed at Rosalie's attempts to hurt him. By the time she had finished, she'd attempted all different kinds of ways to punish a man for being inconsiderate. I laughed all the way through.

Jasper strolled in and sat on the arm of the chair where Alice was sitting and stroked her hair. Alice looked up affectiontley at Japser. He looked over to me and smiled a true smile.

"It's good to have you back, Bella." He must have used some sort of mood elevator to get the laughing off me and onto Jacob, because when he bounded in, his laugh was like huge rumbles of thunder.

"You really think I'm happy that good-for-nothing run away is coming back? The guy who's broke your heart so many times. I've always mended your heart, gluded back the crooked pieces after he smashed it into a thousand and one pieces, and when you were finally over the last disappointment, he'd break it again, wouldn't and didn't he? Just because his voice mesmorises you, puts you under his spell, doesn't mean other people get the same effect. Next time he hurts you, I'll kill him. I don't care anymore. You deserve someone who sticks by you, thick and thin. The guy can't stand the heat, so he runs as far away from the kitchen as he can. He doesn't care who has to put out the fire and restore the establishment. That's someone elses worry for him. If you take him back, I swear Bella, I'm never coming near you, never going to speak to you, never going to help you... get ready to say goodbye Bella, 'cause this is the last time you'll ever see me, last time I'll help you." And with that he stormed out, almost breaking the door. The hinges squeaked and moaned and my mood dropped. Jasper walked over and put his arm around my shoulder.

He whispered in my ear.

"_Don't worry, he'll be back before he knows it. Sure, he'll break a few dishes, but he won't be able to forgive himself for being like that to you. You know he loves you, he does too, he hates the fact that Edward got the happy ending, that Edward got the just needs to learn that your happy and that will make him happy, reassure him that he will get the girl one 's just being a baby, but he'll be back, I assure you that Bella.'_

"Thank you, Jasper."

"What, what did he say?" Emmett said foolishly. Rosalie slapped the side of his head. He pretended that he felt it. Rosalie smiled.

"It's true. He will realise that saying that would have hurt you. He'll be back soon enough. It's the human way." Rosalie took the 'sippy-cup' back to the kitchen and filled it up again.

"I bet I've lost loads of weight on this diet." I laughed, and Emmett joined in.

"Yeah, you were real fat before you were pregnant." Emmett bellowed. No one laughed. Rosalie smirked, but she didn't laugh. Emmett walked slowly out of the room.

I shook my head with a smile, yet I still couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable. What if Jasper was wrong? What if I never see Jacob again?

What if Edward ran into him on his way back?

Fear and panic over came me and I blacked out.

-End Of Chapter-  
Yay, finished. I'm getting pretty sick of pressing ctrl + v to get the letter p. Stupid keyboard. WORK DAMN YOU!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Yes, I have written a new chapter dudes, the only problem is my laptop mouse is pissing me off because it's deciding to be ultra sensitive. I shall turn it off. Okay I shall now get cracking with the new chapter. And I apologise, I just really had fucking tonnes of exams and what have you, and I have to do GCSE prep... Yeah, school hates me that much. So now, when I could be out enjoying myself, I am writing you a new chapter. -13th July 2010 **

**(A/n) – Dear all my amazing readers, I am truly sorry for keeping you so long with this chapter. I started it a while back, but I have not had time to update. Sorry, am I forgiven? Yeah? Okay then, crack on with this story then shall I? -19th August 2010 **

**Chapter 7**

**Oh cry me a river**

I saw trees, so many trees. They were everywhere, in every crevice, every crack. Wild flowers scattered on the floor and moss abundant as far as the eye could see. It smelt wet, like the rain was to come. It smelt like freedom. I reached out to pluck a simple leaf from a bush, but ended up on my side. I looked around to realize I was in fact bound to a wheel chair, so much for freedom.

Emmett and Rose rolled their eyes and both grabbed an arm, pulling me and the chair upright. I was still as big as a house, but I didn't feel like this baby was going to be born any time soon. I wasn't even completely sure whether it would be like a normal baby, I mean, it was half vampire. Rose gave a look that suggested I should try to walk about, but I didn't want to risk it.

Sure, I wanted that freedom, but I couldn't handle it, I had been so dependent for the last few weeks, being waited on 24/7, that I had gotten used to it, and found a liking for it.

But I still had Edward on my mind.

And it wouldn't leave. It didn't want to.

My feelings towards him had changed though, and to be brutally honest, I thought he was being quite a child over the matter. He's over 100 years old, surely he's matured to such an extent that he can cope with someone else occupying more of my time than him. He was being awfully selfish too; his leaving had affected my mental health, as well as my physical health also. I needed moral support, something that he could not give when he was running away from the truths of life.

Emmett turned the wheel chair around and ran as he pushed me back to the house. Laughing whole heartedly, for what felt like the first time in weeks I felt euphoria.

I didn't just need Edward for my life to go on, I had a great network of amazing people who I could rely on solely. Although I belonged to Edward, it doesn't mean he's my oxygen. Life goes on, and all that. A fine example would be Charlie, he doesn't have Renee, but his life has carried on, and although a rather dull existence, he's still here because he has other things and people to live for, like his only child, and the safety of Forks.

Charlie. I needed to see Charlie, or at the very least talk to him. But I knew that was impossible. For one, Rose would never permit it, and two, he would never except that I was pregnant, and at such a young age. Of course he knew one day I would have children, just not when I was 18. He'd think it was a stupid mistake, one he had already made, one he didn't want me to make.

I gripped tightly to the arm rests on the wheel chair and closed my eyes tightly, wanting to go back, for just a few minutes, to when I was carefree, vampire free, Forks free. Go back to the days of being a nobody, but a nobody in a simple and happy environment. No arguments, no babies, no looming thoughts of the Volturi lurking... and most importantly, no depressive side of life due to the only person you have and truly do love running away from you because you're sick and you're about to give birth to something no man has seen before.

"Bella."He was just standing there, shoulders slouched, face glum. His shirt was torn, his pants were muddy and his hair was extremely untamed. He was a mess, and truth be told, so was I. I whimpered, trying to get up from my wheelchair. Rosalie rushed to my side and pushed me back down, I heavily thundered down on the old frame.

"Rose, Emmett, may I have a moment alone with her?" Edward asked. His face was lathered with grief and some source of regret. I closed my eyes and looked down, feeling the brunt force of guilt. I was the reason he was this way, if I never came along, he never would have had to put up with me, with all this mess and sheer bad luck that falls all around.

I turned around to see Rosalie with a restrained grimace on her face; I guess she didn't like the idea of me being alone with him. Not one bit.

She stormed off at an erratic and Emmett quickly followed in pursuit of her. Loyalty. Something that wasn't very abundant around these streets.

"Bell-"

"Before you say anything", I interrupted, steadily making my way up and out of the wheelchair, "tell me why you left."

"Because... I didn't want to hurt you." His face held a thousand emotions, all falling into the same category. I felt sorry for him at this moment, but I then realised he had used the same line on me the last time he left...

"Oh, I _think_ I may have heard that one before, can't you think of something new?" I sarcastically spat out, almost shouting. I hard kick came from inside me, EJ was cheering me on.

"But it's true. I never want to hurt you; I hope I never will... I just needed a breather. It was all just a little too real for me."

"A little _too_ real?" I cried, "I have fucking cancer Edward, and I'm going to give birth to a vampire baby. This was TOO real for YOU? Oh cry me a river Edward, you have no idea what's 'too real'". I was at my wits end with him; he was acting like a child. Okay, everything was going wrong, but still, he didn't have two massive bomb shells dropped on him, just after graduating high school for the first time and becoming the very thing you swore you would never.

I pulled my hair hard, anger overwhelming me. I released my hands, and a clump of hair fell from each side. My jaw dropped in sheer horror.

"Oh dear lord" I managed to whisper out, before dropping pathetically to the floor in a heap. Edward rushed over and cushioned my fall, yet nothing could make this any easier. I gently rubbed my eyebrows and a few brushed out, landing on my protruding bump. He gently placed his arm around my shoulder and hugged my tight, sitting on the floor with me. It was cold and damp, as was Edwards comforting.

It would never be able to help; it was a lost cause in _my_ eyes.

**-End of Chapter-**

**I'm sorry it's rubbish and I haven't updated in like a million years (that's a long time :o). I've had allot of inspiration to write more recently, as it's my 14****th**** birthday on Tuesday, and people have inspired me... no names. So my dear readers, I'm sorry it's short rubbish and a it has a swear word in, but it was needed for effect. Next one will be longer, and more depressing! YAAYY! ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N – I've had a few problems with uploading, and I'm sorry. So this may have taken longer than hoped to get up to you. I wasn't too sure which direction I was going to go with this story in the first place, but I've found a path and I'm quite happy with it, and I hope you guys will be too! The title of this chapter is taken from Dead Star by Muse, a song I am currently obsessed with.  
**

**Chapter 8**

**Failing to impress**

We were still sitting there, sobbing away as I saw my life crumble before my eyes. I wasn't crying at the fact that I was losing everything, I was crying because I was going to be turned into a vampire, no matter what. Edward wouldn't like it, but Carlisle, Esme and the rest of the family would do it, knowing it would make Edward happy for one, and that the Volturi wouldn't come knocking around wondering of where I had gone and obviously, if I was still human.

I didn't want to put the Cullen's in danger, so I went along with it, knowing that it would ultimately end up with every human I love dying and that I would never see them, for I wouldn't have an afterlife. I looked at my Jesus bracelet; I saw how perfect he was and at the same time, I saw the pointlessness of wearing it.

Edward stroked my back and nuzzled my neck, but to no avail. He slumped backwards and I dropped my heavy head in despair.

"Hey, hold your head up proud, you're going to be a mum after all.

"It seems like this is going to be hard and adjusting to being different from Charlie and your mum is going to destroy your relationships with them, but it's not. You're a strong, young woman and you have whole support network of people here to help you, so don't give up now my love." Edward said with the upmost content. It brought a tear to my eye and as it streamed down my face, I felt myself let go of all my insecurities as it was hopeless holding up defences when you had nothing to defend."

I scoffed.

"Well your tone has certainly changed hasn't it?"

His face grew curious as he raised his bushy eyebrow above the other. I sighed and shook my head; I had to explain everything to him.

"Well for someone who had pathetically ran away from all the crap in his so called 'life', you've really done a role reversal here haven't you? "

His face was glum once again, I'd fucked up the one morsel of happiness I'd had seen on his face in a long time... though I did not feel remorse, I mean what had he put me through in the last few days? I deserved some sort of revenge; I couldn't let him get away with running off like that again.

"Look Bella, I know I left you in your hour of need, but again, I couldn't cope, I'd always feared of getting close to someone because I knew something would go wrong and people would get upset.

In all my 107 years I had never had so much as a peck on the cheek before you, and we rushed into things so quickly – I know we love each other so I knew that things would work out alright – but vampire babies and cancer was a huge reality check, a big scare for me, which told me I couldn't keep acting like a 17 year old boy anymore, that it was finally time to stand up and be a man, and that's what I'm doing now, I'm taking my role and I'm going to play it to my best ability, it shall be a real performance."

I some how was still not satisfied by this apology and so I just looked away. He still hadn't shown me that he loved me in a physical way and that he would never leave me in such a condemned state that I was on the brink of near exhaustion, so just got up and waddled away.

EJ gave a fierce kick, perhaps in a 'well done, you stood up for yourself' way or that 'wise move idiot, now he's going to be a super emotional wreck' way. I wasn't too sure.

As I walked back into the house I was all of a sudden swept off of my feet and into some very strong, warm arms.

Jacob – always there to bring a smile to your face, no matter what.

My grin felt a very silly one at that, as Jacob lent back to sit down on the couch, myself still resting in his cradle. I nuzzled my nose into his warm neck and began to drift of into a soothing dream.

'Bella, Bella? Where are you dear, hiding away from me I suspect?' An old fashioned voice called. It was one of a gentle man, someone who was young, yet who had grown up fast so his voice way sort of out of place. A tremble fell down my shoulders as I realised where I was.

I was tucked up tightly in a large four poster bed, ornately decorated to suit the period of time. I looked further out of the bed and saw the furnishings of the room – A small oak desk which was cluttered with parchment, covered in a smudged black ink scrawl. There was also a large book shelf, full of large books, grandly decorated with gold writing on red or navy blue covers. They read such titles as 'Old testament' and 'The plays of Shakespeare'. They looked far too delicate to touch.  
There was also a large dresser and two padded covered chairs, laden with cloaks and coats. The dresser was most intriguing; it had a few very small painted canvases, possibly portraits or simple drawings. There was also a large framed mirror with a gold trim. The reflective qualities of the mirrors glass itself seemed poor, but as I sat up in the bed and starred into it, I saw its truthful purpose.

At first it seemed I was just in another century, tucked up in bed, possibly waiting for my husband, but as the first words I heard rattled around, I began to feel rather concerned and worried. I scrambled out of the bed sheets and onto the hard oak floor which creaked under the new weight. I looked down at myself to find I was in a night gown, a rather thin and revealing one at that. Why was I hiding from this man, and if I was truly his 'Bella' than why was I so scared? Was he my Edward? Or was he some villain, some wicked fiend?

The golden door knob jolted and rattled as the person on the other side tried to gain access. My eyes twitched and my body was paralysed in fear... but I could not comprehend why.

The door burst open and before I saw who it was, I woke shrieking and kicking back into consciousness.

Surprisingly, the first face I saw when I opened my eyes was Edwards. He was cradling me in his arm, whilst the other stroked my hair and soothed my fears.

"Hey, hey there, it's okay, it was just a dream. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. It's all okay. It'll all be okay." His voice cooed and rocked me until I was calm enough to speak, but the dream kept flashing around in my mind, imagining who would have burst though that door, what they would have done...

"I think it was just a bad dream everyone, she seems alright". Emmett bellowed around the house, announcing it like it was some huge, rare occurrence. I sat up in Edward's arms and then remembered that it was Jacob when I fell asleep. Confused, I threw my head back and closed my eyes once again.

"Where did Jacob go?" I asked.

There was a moment's pause before anyone answered.

Something had happened, I just knew it.

"He went out, Paul was calling him" Emmett said in such a way to say he wasn't sure. I opened my eyes and saw Edward give Emmett a slight nod of agreement. They were up to something, I just knew it.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N – Wow, just wow! It's actually been too long! People urge in reviews to write chapters, but I'm never in the mood and I have soooooo much coursework and extra subjects, not to mention going on a real life changing trip (3****rd**** Reich tour) with a few good friends and school. Every thing is quite hectic at the moment, so I thought now, a quite nice day, and I have no friends to socialise with, and I'm supposed to be cleaning my room, so yeah, I thought of you guys instead. Hopefully this is the last time I'll forget you lot.  
I'm not too sure where this idea for the chapter came from, so bare with me if it's awful, and if it is and your reviews agree with me, then I'll change it for y'all.  
**

**The title for this chapter is a Muse song from the album absolution. Track 14, to be precise!  
I chose it because, obviously... (well, read the chapter and you'll get it, I hope).**

**Chapter 9**

**Ruled by secrecy**

**_'_**_Change in the air, and they'll hide everywhere, no one knows who's in control'._

My suspicions were rather ridiculously high by the time the clock struck noon, as everyone who occupied the Cullen household was being secretive and shady when ever I entered the room. Of course, no one had uttered a word about Jacob after he left, especially Edward. EJ had been pounding my uterus for nearly an hour and I was at my wits end with all the secrecy.  
When ever I'd ask a question, everyone would suddenly become patronising and smiley-smiley, which reminded me of Jessica from school.

I wondered how her and Mike were getting along, she was such a stagnant beauty and he was a typical high school Jock, they were perfect for each other. I always thought I might end up dating one of the high school Jocks, but sadly fate didn't have that down for me on the cards and I was stuck with a teen marriage and an unexpected pregnancy – at that moment, EJ's persistent kicking ceased.

A few seconds later, Jasper strolled into the room, looking tense as usual, but there was something else as well – for his usually calm self looked rather stressed and annoyed.

"Bella, your emotions are playing havoc with me, can you please tell me what the matter is?" Jasper blurted out, towering over my plump form, which was draped over the couch.  
I didn't really know what to say, either 'Well everyone is treating me like some sort of Judas' or 'I cant help it if I'm a hormonal teenage mess who has cancer, is pregnant and now everyone is lying to'. I felt like incorporating the both of them.

"Look Bella, just take a few of these. I can't keep everybody's spirits high, and yours are worse then Edwards, and you know how irrational and tiresome he's become over the past few days."

I peered into the small Ziploc bag, and shook around the small blue and pink pills.

"Jasper, what are these?" I didn't want them to harm EJ, or alternately, send him on another kicking spree. They looked a lot like M&M's, and something in such attractive colours wouldn't be safe, I was sure of it.

"Bella, there just simple anti-depressants and anti-anxiety tablets. Take two pink and one blue every morning and night and you'll feel allot better, and so will I." And with that, he rushed out of the room, leaving me alone once again with my thoughts.

I had been so used to popping pills in my teens that I had learnt how to dry swallow them, some as big as a penny. They went down rather smoothly, and EJ didn't seem to object, which alternately made me feel much better that I could actually keep something down, unlike the countless human culinary delights Edward had tried to prepare for me which I would regurgitate within minutes of finishing the meal. He thought it was his cooking at first, but sadly, it was me as always.

I hated being alone with my thoughts like this, condemning myself for the mess love had gotten me into. But I started to think that no one was going to rescue me from this hole, for Edward was in too much of a state himself, Jacob had disappeared suspiciously, Alice, well she was only a best friend and everyone else I knew was a vampire and was far too concerned with other, more pressing matters at hand.

At that moment, intense pains shot around my stomach area, forcing me to slam shut my eyes and clench my body at the hips. I keeled over, forcing me to fall onto the floor. EJ was kicking hard too, which made the pain almost insufferable, and I could feel my vision becoming hazy. It was like the world was spinning, like a whirring tea-cup ride, blackening and caving in at the same time. My mind felt like it was turning inside out, and with all this, I let out a huge groan and scream. I felt endlessly cold within, and my heart rate was accelerating so fast I felt like I was convulsing, as if I was having an epileptic fit. By now, my vision had completely disappeared, and my hearing was the only thing that was in my control. All I heard were own, empty screams, no rush of feet or a tender voice, no one and nothing.

My heart felt so sore, so tense and rapid that it might as well give in and give up, and with that, my conscience was no more and I fell into a dream-like state.

...

'Bella?'.


End file.
